Our Darkest Hour
by IrishLuck55
Summary: When the product of the Truest Love is consumed with darkness, plagued with hate, how do you save her? What if it took the woman with the darkest past and the most wounded heart to free her savior from the dark? Will she succeed as a hero, or be heartbroken?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I want to start by thanking my writing partner, AlwaysOnMyWayToYou, for helping me start to bring this idea to life. I also want to thank RoRo Ponce and Emily Fest who will be helping create beautiful fan art to go with the story. We're all really hoping you enjoy it as much as we do. Lastly, and on a personal note, I want to thank my girlfriend for being so supportive. I hope you all enjoy! Please review!**

 **Disclaimer: All aspects of OUAT belong to the rightful owners at Disney and ABC.**

It takes her a couple of seconds before realization kicks in. She blinks once and then again just to be certain. Her jaw is set tight when the inevitable groan leaves her lips because… How could she be so stupid? Not Regina herself, of course… But… How could that hero-complex-harboring blonde be _that_ stupid… to such an incredible extent.

"What did you do to her?" Her head snaps to the side as soon as the grouchy pirate decides to speak… to her… The. Nerve. "What?" she scoffs, her voice laced with disbelief. Could he really be _that thick_? "Where is she? Why are you unharmed?"Hook yells at her, looking utterly bewildered, not to mention livid. "Do I look like an oracle to you?" she hisses with narrowed eyes. "Why would she even do that? Why would she save _you_?" He pulls up his nose in disgust,sneering the final word as if to insult her. "She didn't do it to save me, you idiot. She did it to 'do the "right thing.'" Regina takes a step forward and uses air quotes to emphasis her point. "It's in those stupid charming genes of hers… So if you're looking to blame anyone, blame the happy couple on your right and spare me your pathetic excuses for insults." She sneers while trying so desperately not to rip the moron's heart out.

When she feels a soft weight land on her left shoulder she flinches slightly. "Calm down, darling." "Don't."she murmurs huskily. But he does anyway… He tightens his grip a little and pulls her into his overly warm embrace. When she sighs he thinks it's stress and tension leaving her small frame, while really… it's the exact opposite. "Robin." she whispers against his chest. "Sshh darling." He silences her again. So sweetly, so softly… So effectively… because she does stay silent. Trying so desperately to ignore all the pent up tension, eating at her from the inside. It's relatively quiet. Some wind, some cars further down town, Snow's girly crying, Charming's soothing words to his wife and finally, Hook's "Dark One I command thee, show yourself."

Regina cannot believe her ears. She gasps audibly and turns around in Robin's arms. And then holds her breath until… Absolutely nothing happens and a very strange sensation is felt somewhere deep inside of the former queen's soul. Relief, a strange glimmer of happiness… even now, in this dark hour… And then as soon as it came, it's gone because… How can she not be completely disappointed with herself? She's changed, so much at that. She should be feeling… well, anything but relief and happiness. Unwilling to delve deeper into the roots of these completely misplaced feelings, she locks them away and sets on anger. "Give me that, guy-liner." she sneers at him, finally pulling away from the forest-thief's embrace.

"Regina." Charming warns her calmly. She looks at him and shakes her head. "What?" she says while pulling Emma's dagger from the pirate's loose grip. "Don't do anything stupid" His eyes are void of judgment, for which she can't help but feel grateful. Not that she'd show it. No, instead she chuckles darkly and sneers sharply "Should have told that to your princess."

"Regina." it's Snow's turn to warn the older brunette. "Seriously? What could I possibly do to make matters worse? The Savior, the product of True Love and owner of the lightest magic ever…" She says oh so dramatically before her expression turns blank and her tone flat. "has turned dark."

"We have to save her." Charming whispers but with clear determination. "Of course we do." Regina says, and means it. Although…the words might have sounded just a little sarcastic in pure Regina fashion. "And you're not going to stand in our way." The guy with the hook steps forward and shares his thoughts. To say Regina is completely stunned is a huge understatement. She's speechless for just a couple of seconds before she manages to gather herself, turn her royal attention towards the undeserving piece of filth and looks at him as if he's the weirdest little rat she's ever laid eyes on. "I don't think we should allow him to speak anymore." She says almost calmly before turning back towards the un-charming pair. "Regina, we're going to need you."

It's not a question but the pleading tone doesn't go lost on Regina… And why the fuck is it that everyone just assumes that she wouldn't be helping?! It's these type of situations that make her boil and sizzle with annoyance. Her grip on the dagger in her hands is firm and vice like. What is she supposed to say…? 'well of course I'll be helping! Don't worry… I've got your back… Together we can do this!' ? Yeah right… Hell can freeze over and she still wouldn't utter those words. It's not because she's no longer the Evil Queen she once was, that she actually has to stoop _that_ low.

So instead of sharing those thoughts she goes for… "Well, she didn't leave me with much of a choice, did she?" "Forget it Your Majesty" Killian then snarls, voice laced with frustration. "I don't think we're going to need" "Oh shut up, will you?" Regina interrupts whatever idiotic remark was slipping past those rum reeking lips, rolls her eyes and turns on her heel.

Not even sparing the leather clad pirate another glance. She's not about to say something about it, but Regina's all too aware of the fact that she's still holding the Dark One's dagger tightly. It's weird and she's got no idea why, but she so hopes that she can get away from here before anyone else notices. She starts walking. Killian's saying something that- she's sure- isn't worth her time. Ignoring him comes naturally. And Robin… well he's just standing there.

God, she could really use a drink right about now. That's exactly what she's heading for. Only, less than three seconds later her favorite word in the world halts her effectively. "Mom!" "Henry" Regina sighs and smiles without effort. "Mom, are you okay?" His voice cracks. A combination of puberty and sincere worry. Once he's in front of her, he doesn't hesitate and warps his lanky arms around her shoulders. It's perfect. The exact right temperature even.

"Sweetheart." Regina breathes into thick brown hair. "Where's Emma?" He then pulls away slightly and looks at his mother. "We'll get her back." Regina says, voice filled to the brim with determination and nods. Her fingers tighten their grip and absentmindedly her eyes shift downwards towards the piece of metal in her hand. By doing so, Henry's attention is immediately drawn towards the dagger in question.

His eyes find his mother's "You get to have it?"He gasps, placing emphasis on the first word of the sentence as if to make a point. So, it hurts a little that he actually sounds that surprised… But Regina decides to simply shake off that negative feeling. Although it seems she doesn't really have an answer for him either. She kind of just took it and left, didn't she? To be honest, she's not even certain as to why she felt so compelled to take it from Hook at all. Okay… well… that's not true… anyone would agree with her that he is about the worst person to be holding on to such an important and powerful object. Honestly, she is the best choice…

While she's standing there, taking forever to come up with a simple quick response, Mrs. un-Charming clears her throat, startling Regina slightly. "Can you keep it safe? We're going to have to think of a plan to bring her back." Snow is emotional alright. Of course she is. But her words are actually making sense. At least a little...For once. So Regina allows the woman to go on. "In the mean time… the dagger… it can't land in the wrong hands." "The wrong" "Yours aren't the wrong ones. I wasn't saying that, Regina."

"Okay." Regina swallows back a snappy remark about the other woman's choice of attire for today… out of the goodness of her heart. "I just need to hear it from you… I need something to hold on to." Snow then says.

"You need me" there's a small pause there but Regina pulls herself together quickly "to tell you it's going to be okay?" Snow looks down, breathes in, out and levels her eyes with the other woman's before nodding. "Please." Regina feels awkward, nauseous, uncomfortable and something else that she can't quite put her finger on. Whatever it is, it's what makes her say her next words.

"Of course, we'll keep it safe. For Emma."

 **I hope you all enjoyed the chapter and we're hoping to have the next one up very, very soon! Comment, Review Share!**


	2. Chapter 2

She turns the page and immediately releases a long sigh. The last one again already. Regina stares at the table to her right and lets her eyes trace the huge mess she's made these past few days. Thank god, Belle had been very kind and understanding, helping her retrieve every single piece of information on that damned dagger.

The former Queen had practically turned her vault inside out in search of ... something... anything really, spells, recipes for potions but so far the search had been fruitless and fucking frustrating. Robin had called . Every three hours... he'd called. The first couple of conversations had lasted for several minutes and had consisted of Regina trying to explain what she was trying to accomplish, things she was looking for and not finding but continualy hoping to find in this next book she's about to tackle. These were usually followed by Robin's humming, silences, soft encouragements to come home and get some rest, take a break. There was also an annoyingly large number of 'let me take care of you's and 'Hook is out looking for her, she's not your responsibility's.

It was certainly enough to make Regina reconsider answering the calls at all, but each time she did and each time she was the one that ended it with a "I'll let you know once I've found something." After a while the conversations had grown shorter and further apart. It's not that she wasn't appreciative of what he was doing, it's that she didn't appreciate what he wasn't doing: Helping her. Not that it was anything new...

When has she ever had any help? Not including Emma... Emma. And suddenly her mind is back on track. She's long stopped counting on aid from these useless spell books. The first few had been mildly if at all helpful, but it hadn't been long before the pages became numerous and it had become so painfully clear that this curse wasn't one so easily broken. Breaking the darkness. It just sounds so condraticting, doesn't it? Those touched by the darkness more often than not were or had been broken already anyway.

Mending the darkness? That's looking at it a whole different way, from an entirely different perspective. Don't fear her. No. Don't pity her either. Hell no! A light Emma Swan would most certainly not appreciate that, let alone a very, very dark one... _The Dark One_. But there's one thing - and to be quite honest, Regina's not sure at all how she feels about this- that almost comes naturally at the moment. Relate. Would Emma be okay with that? The Dark One and the former Evil Queen sharing the darkness?

Regina's eyes are closed as she bites her tongue to the point where she's fairly certain the tender flesh is breaking and then she stops, only to bite down on a different spot. It takes most, if not all, of the woman's willpower to not give in to what feels like some kind of natural instinct. One by one Regina cracks every knuckle on both of her hands. It's loud, uncharacteristic and not even remotely helpful because when her mouths falls open she speaks.

"Do you even realize how long it's been since I've last seen my bed?" The ridiculousness of speaking out loud into the solitude of her vault and the vulnerable crack in her own voice makes her flinch momentarily. She swallows nervously. And why? It's not like there's anyone here to judge her, is there? Well... except for herself. And perhaps,just maybe... "Emma, I" She pauses. "What?" She shrugs, shakes her head and breathes out the question. To herself. What could she possibly have to say to Emma right now? It's not like they're friends and it's not like she wishes they were either. Hell, she doesn't even care, does she? No, Regina just really really wants to get this over and done with. This whole Dark One thing has gone on long enough and it's time for life to go back to normal.

Let the fairytale characters have their happily ever afters. _So normal_. "And let me go back to being annoyed by your every move instead of this... Instead of experiencing this dreadful feeling of" Regina halts herself from saying something stupid and can't help but groan instead. At first she'd convinced herself that this sense of responsibility was originated solely out of the fact that Emma had sacrificed herself for her. Of course that's not entirely true since the blonde had merely done what she thought was the right thing, the heroic thing. Regina scoffs.

Then,of course, Henry had stared at her with those big gooey eyes of his... So helpless and pleading, leaving her with no choice but to do anything and everything to save his birth mother. Up until this point her lack of sleep and the huge effort she's put into Operation something-something (Henry's still working on the perfect code name) is totally justified and not at all suspicious. Had it not been for that stupid nagging feeling she's been trying to shake off so very desperately. It hadn't even been that long after Emma had made that dreadful decision to offer herself up to the darkness that Regina had felt the beginning of a very unsettling sensation. The promoted shepherd and his lesser half had kindly offered to take care of Henry while Regina 'did her thing' (David had even made some ridiculous hand gestures as if it had resembled anything to do with magic-it was offensive really) But strangely enough, Regina had agreed.

Well, if she's being completely hones, she'd rather not have Henry there while she's delving so deep into this dark and unsettling type of sorcery. Still, there was no need for the pathetic display of charades on Charming's part. She'd made her opinion on the matter clear of course. He's not likely to do it again anytime soon. After the verbal lashing he'd received on the gravity of the type of magic they were dealing with and on how absolutely moronic he was, he'd kept his hands tucked away in the pockets of his overly tight pants. An unfortunate family trait. Though over time, she'd come to appreciate it on Emma. Regina swallows hard and chooses to just ignore that thought for now, forever if at all possible.

It's scary enough to feel how her drive to help the blonde has shifted in a very peculiar way. As much as she keeps telling herself: This is for Henry. This is for Henry. This is for our son. The moment she reminds herself of the bond she shares with Henry's other mother, it's nearly impossible to ignore. This is for me- A tiny tiny voice whispers to her. Regina clears her throat and brushes a nervous hand through thick, dark tresses. Let's just not go there. This is for Emma. That- she silently decides- is something she can live with.

"Goddammit, where are you, Swan?" She groans. "It's not supposed to be like this" This time Regina doesn't even realize she's started talking again. Somehow, her eyes find their way to the dagger. She stares at it. Hard. She looks at Emma Swan's name engraved in that ancient font. Who still uses that, anyway? The brunette rolls her eyes at how terribly dramatic the calligraphy makes the name look. "I used to be so proud of my actions... as... as the _evil_ Queen... I used to smirk, laugh and enjoyed every second of it when I felt my heart blacken with hate. I used to look at people and hate their families and the houses they'd built for themselves. The lives they'd built for themselves..."

Her gaze softens minutely, but remains just as intense if not more-so. Though not necessarily at the piece of metal but more... more like... through it. Lost in a haze of thoughts, trying to sort through the puzzle forming. "How dare they build lives of their own? A privilege I, as a Queen, had never been granted. And Emma, I really thought I was so mighty to take it from them. I really thought... The power I felt holding a man's heart in the palm of my hand... It was... when you do such a thing... not only do you hold someone's entire life, past and future... You hold their love." It's silent for an undesirable amount of minutes. Hours perhaps because not only are these thoughts formed in the moment,the realizations are hitting hard as well. "You hold your own ability to love..." Her voice has turned into a shaky whisper bouncing against the stone walls of her lonely vault of 'uselessness to make things right'. "And then you crush it." She gasps, because that's exactly what it is.

Once upon a time, there was an Evil Queen in an Enchanted Forrest on a very lonely throne around which she build a wall made from the ashes of the hearts of those who were unafraid to use it for its purpose. "Emma you can't..." She chokes on her words "fall for it. The darkness is greedy... It wants all of you... every single part and I can't stand to" Hard puffs of air leave her lungs. Loud and threatening to turn into sobs. No way... She is not going to start crying. "have Henry loose you." She decides on voicing. Not that it matters what she says or doesn't say... Nobody's listening anyway. Except for her own conscious that's painfully cringing at the half lie. She ignores it, but for a moment, just a moment, the long buried pain bursts through the wall she built. Her hand wraps around the handle of the dagger, grippng tightly before hurling it against the cold stone wall with an inhuman scream.

Of course. The truth is so humiliating she can't even stand to witness it unfold herself. How has it come to this point? Why should she even care? Regina Mills doesn't care for anyone but Henry... Not even for herself, not really. And still, why should she care for the child of her arch nemesis,of all people in all of the realms? Because Henry cares? Well... Henry cares for the Ninja Turtles too. It's all so very confusing. Things had finally been a little bit easy, for once. For both Emma and her. They'd even started to build lives of their own, something the Evil Queen had never imagined herself possible of. Regina's not sure if it had felt exactly as it was supposed to. But then again... After all she's been through she's probably not capable of feeling the entire package of feelings anymore, is she?

The situation she'd found herself in with Robin, well, it is her True Love... She can't possibly have it better than that. And it's okay. She's even kind of come to terms with the whole Zelena thing. Not that she really ever thinks of that. That's just asking for a disaster to take place. Why ruin a perfectly okay arrangement? And Emma... She'd been doing great. It finally looked like she was able to open up to someone. Even if just to a guy with a hook for a hand and a libido for a heart. It was something... and it had seemed enough for Emma. Who was she to step in and tell the girl she could do better, much better? Why ruin a perfectly okay arrangement? There was that question again.

Somehow during the last couple of thoughts she'd gravitated towards Emma's dagger and rises from her seat slowly. Her footsteps muted in the otherwise vacant room until she stands before the seemingly harmless blade, hips bending as she reaches for it. Perfectly manicured fingers wrap around the handle slowly, teantively before lifting it to cradle against her chest as if in apology for her actions. She leans heavily against the cold wall before heavily sinking down into a sitting position. Legs outstretched, Regina places the powerful item in her lap and narrows her eyes as if she's seeing something entirely different.

"I used to hate it when I saw you. It made my blood boil, made my stomach churn." She smiles wryly at those memories. That was a whole different life. Two entirely different people. A different time.

Her eyes close of their own accord and she wills her tears to stay locked away. Because she can't let herself... not in front of her... but she's not really here, is she? She's alone.

"And then... You became bearable" her voice cracks but the teasing mock isn't lost in the silence surrounding her. It's so familiar, it almost sounds cozy, welcoming. "Emma Swan, why?" She whispers while looking down at the reflection of her own red-rimmed chocolate eyes, staring back at herself from the surface of the cursed blade in her hands.

Now she's sure she's going mental because... well... what sane person, villain or hero, talks to a knife?


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Oh my gosh, guys! Thank you so much for all of the support. We are both so thrilled at the response and excitement you all have for ODH. We hope to continue updating every week.**

 **Also, if anyone has an ideas, suggestions or things they would like to read in ODH, feel free to shoot me or AlwaysOnMyWayToYou a message and let us know! We'll see what we can do.**

 **Also, apologies in advance for the mild-OQ in this chapter.**

 **A/N: All rights to Once Upon a Time belong to ABC and Disney.**

She'd let him in. Of course she had. What else was she supposed to do? She wouldhave expected that he'd stop by sooner or later. She would have, had her mind not been completely pre-occupied with more important matters that is. "

'Darling you look exhausted." Is the first thing he says. Yes, because _that_ is exactly how every woman loves to be greeted, isn't it? "Let's go home." he says. It doesn't even sound like a suggestion. It actually sounds like he's telling her rather than asking. Nonetheless… his voice is soft and tender.

Regina wants to sigh and roll her eyes but she suppresses the urge, not fully certain the man deserves it. Yet. Her eyes are roaming all over the foreign writings in front of her. It's been a week. She's eaten,but very little. She's slept, but just barely. She's seen Henry. Not enough. And Robin… she'd seen him late at night and early in the morning more often than not sleeping already or still, but now really isn't the time to catch up.

"I just need some more time. I just need something..."She says as if it's answer enough as to why she can't and won't leave her vault. "How about" He steps up behind her and softly suggests: "you take a warm bath, then I can assist you in the kitchen and we have a nice night in. Just the two of us." He then puts both of his large, calloused hands on both of her thin shoulders. His palms are so overly warm, they always are, and her shoulders so unsurprisingly tense.

"'Excuse me?" She narrows her eyes, unable to keep the annoyance of his disturbance a secret anymore and slightly turns her torso to glare at him. "I could give you a nice long massage... help you relax Thick eyebrows rise as he gives her a small suggestive smile, clearly oblivious to his own stupidity. When she catches the slightly darker glint in those big eyes of his Regina turns around entirely, tightens her jaw and balls both of her hands into fists, burying ten sharp nails into the soft palms of deceivingly delicate hands.

"I'm sorry, did you fall and hit your head?" She says, trying to sound mocking rather than upset. "I…" for a moment there, he's genuinely confused as to why she would think he'd fallen, until the man catches up on the reality of the situation. He shakes his head from side to side "Regina, you're not taking care of yourself... At least let me do it for you... "and pleads. She hates when he pleads.

Now his hands wrap around the brunette's upper arms, rubbing her up and down. To say she feels claustrophobic could be considered the understatement of the year. Regina pinches her eyes closed tightly, opens them and takes a deliberate step backwards. "By luring me into having _sex_?" Her voice wavers just slightly as she's trying so hard to keep her composure. Not fully picking up on the fact that what Regina needs right now is space Robin closes the newly created distance between them. The moment Regina's firm rear bumps the desk behind her she brings up her hands to push against Robin's shoulders. "That... Is not what I was implying." He softly tells her, doing nothing but continue to make her more uncomfortable. "But I'd like to think you wouldn't need to be _lured_ into that with me. Although you have been rather ... distracted..."

Whether the hurt in his voice is played or genuine… it's present and not something Regina feels she can deal with right now. Because… seriously? How dare he victimize himself and try to make her feel guilty? "Distracted? That's the term you're going for?" She snaps defiantly while pushing at his shoulders in dire need of air and space. Distance, really. The man's mouth falls open, now clearly feeling offended. His face shoots a vivid red as his voice grows loud. "No, you know what? You're right... _Obsessive_ might be more suitable"

"How _dare_ you?!"Regina flashes her teeth as the Queen had done so many times before, instantly feeling livid by the accusatory tone he's taken on. His flaring nostrils and red shot eyes are so very unattractive, she silently registers while trying to keep her distance from this man who is rapidly loosing his temper and is obviously… physically a lot stronger than she is. "Regina, you have to listen to me. You're j-" He hovers over her,pleading eyes boring into angry ones.

"You don't get to tell me what to do."Regina yells and it's inevitable… tears have found their way to the surface as her cheeks grow wet. Robin's shocked, his eyes and mouth are wide. The words lost in his throat. Finally… he steps back. Several steps. "I... That came out wrong. I'm sorry, Regina. I just ... It hurts to see you like this. You need to take a break from all of this... this madness. Let me help you" He's close to tearing up too now. Feeling her slip away. "You want to help?" She swallows and materializes a box of tissues, wiping at her cheeks.

"Of course..." Desperation is lacing his voice and making it further unattractive to her ears at the moment. "Make sure Henry is safe." She asks him loud and clear, but they both know it's an order. "He is. He's with his grandparents. Roland is with them too, I hope that's alright." Robin clears his throat awkwardly, now looking anywhere but at the woman in front of him. "Of course. I'd hate for them to see me like this." Regina says flatly. She straightens out her clothing and posture while blinking more tears away and biting her lower lip hard. "They wouldn't have to if you took care of yourself." Robin murmurs under his breathe, waving his hands in front of himself if only to keep them occupied. Regina furrows her brows in annoyance at his condescending tone and thoughts that he knows what she needs. "What are you blabbering about, Robin?" She sighs "This isn't about me... this is about..."

"Emma." Robin quickly interrupts her, his eyes back on hers. "It's about doing what's right." She turns around and picks up a random book, hoping Robin will get the message and leave already. He doesn't leave and lets out a frustrated sigh instead. "She's not your responsibility." "Do you hear yourself?" Regina snaps. She turns around with squared shoulders and clenched teeth. Robin instantly looks deflated. He shakes his head and swallows thickly. "I don't know what you expect me to say." "I... expect _nothing_ of you, Robin." Regina informs him softly, emphasizing the word to make a point. The expression on her face is one desperate for distance, he finally realizes. "And that's exactly why this hurts so very much." His voice is hoarse as if spent from screaming. Regina rubs her eyes and breathes out heavily. "I don't have time for this now, Robin. I need to get back to.." "Saving the Saviour. Rather ironic when you come to think of it." He snorts.

"We all need saving sometimes." "And what if I need you?" He puts so much weight to each word as if expecting for them to affect Regina, to change her mind. "Right now, she needs me more." Is all she says though. It's a bitter pill for the man to swallow and he rolls his eyes before sneering. "Or is it you that needs her?" "She's Henry's mother' Regina croaks. " _You_ are Henry's mother,Regina. You're the one who raised him." Robin chuckles bitterly. Something seems to have snapped inside of the man. Regina notices immediately. It's in his eyes, his tone, his stance. "You need to leave now." She informs him coldly. "Not if you're not coming too." "Don't make me use force, Robin." "Please Regina." "Get out."

After he'd left, she'd cried. A lot. Not even fully certain why, but she decides to blame it on the overflow of emotions. The confrontation with Robin had been painful and harsh. On both of them. His need for physical confirmation of their bond was obvious, but she couldn't and wouldn't do that now. It's the last thing she needs ... How dare he even expect her to be in the mood. And to look so very hurt at realizing she isn't. It's always about him, isn't? He always needs to be someone's center of attention. Someone's primary need. Only... To her he'd never been that... Not even their soul mate status could provide that kind of bond between them... Not from her side, but it had always been something, hadn't it? First the pressure of the expectations that being soul mates brings with it. Tip toeing around each other in order to be perfect for the other. At least that's how Regina had experienced it. Then again, she'd blamed the feeling of un-easiness on fresh love. That's what this was after all, right? Then the arrival of Marian in Storybrooke had ruined absolutely everything. Regina had been so angry at Emma for that,angry enough that, if she let herself, she would have gone running backto her tight outfits and burnt the town to the ground with a laugh. She'd cursed the blonde a 1000 times and then some. Figuratively speaking of course. She'd never... Well,not anymore at least. The Evil Queen has come a long way. She was really upset though... Angry that Emma had taken away what was supposed to be her happy ending... Until she started to realize that that was all it was... The feeling of loss originated from losing her supposed happy ending... Which yes, happened to come in the form of Robin Hood, but when she'd mourn for what she'd lost she'd mourn the feeling she was hoping to some day have with him... once they'd have been gray and old and bound through life rather than fate and pixie dust. The moment she came to the conclusion that she never mourned the loss of his hands on her waist or his eyes boring in hers. That she didn't miss his voice and the way he felt against her at night...

"You know why it hurt so much when you brought back Marian, Emma?" she speaks to the empty room, a strange comfort that she's indulged herself in lately. "It's because that was the moment I realized that my heart was never his. Pixie dust turns out to be just that... dust. And happy endings are exactly this world's definition of fairy tales. Fake. It's all so beautiful to tell and hear... but in reality... it's nothing but a cold shower." she gives a weak laugh, but it's fake even to her own ears "I was so mad at you... Because you made me face the truth, Emma, and it hurt so bad...to realize that I'd never have it... What I've always wanted... And for the sole reason that it doesn't exist. Not in this realm... not in any." she paces the floor a little, a sender hand resting on the wall just out of her sight as a curious visitor listens. "You know what's ironic? When we were working together to get me my happy ending... what I felt during that time... has been so much more intense than anything I've felt since I've had it. I guess it is, in a way, easier now. Now that I know it's all lies andmake believe. I have absolutely no expectations anymore,but I guess that's what it's like for everybody." she pauses her pacing and settles on the ottoman in front of one of her many mirrors, eyes downcast as she closes and opens her hands a few times, forcing her voice to work again.

"Is it really worth it though? Is this how you feel with your pirate too? Is it enough for you? Because..." Regina closes her eyes and breathes in slowly "if that's all I'll ever have ... I think I'm done with it, Emma...As long as Henry's happy. If i don't get that happy ending... I don't want to pretend to have it either. I've acted out enough roles in my life... I just ... I just need to be Regina now. Just Regina...Not some kind of lovesick plaything for him to use... And make him feel special... Robin's been so needy... It's awful... And I can't bring myself to... I just can't. I've had enough of that during my marriage with Leopold. After that I swore I'd never..." she clenches her hands as the memories of those horrible nights in a bedchamber far from here try to force their way in, memories of a scared girl who was slowly broken. "I just can't deal with him right now. I promised your parents to bring you back. I promised Henry too, but what if I can't do it? What if just like happy endings... good prevailing... is all just make believe as well?" she lets out a heavy sigh and rests her head in her hands, blonde tresses pressed to the stone to listen better to the willingly shared wounds of the former Queen.

 **A/N: There we are, ladies and gents! Our dear Queen is facing quite the conflicts right now, isn't she? But, now she's not alone in that vault of hers anymore, she just doesn't know it yet. Don't run too far now, the next chapter will be here before you know it! Rate and review, send any suggestions or ideas to myself or AlwaysOnMyWayToYou! We love you all!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thank you all so much for continuing to read as we update. We're very sorry for the later than usual update. We've been really swamped with work and school, but we're here now! Please review to your heart's content!**

"So, what do we have?" Snow's tone is hopeful and eager. Very eager. It makes Regina positively sick. Naturally, she wants to roll her eyes and sneer that _they_ don't have anything. Well... _she_ doesn't have anything. The baby-faced, raven haired woman had invited Regina over for dinner the night before but Regina had declined. Obviously.

One: she hasn't been hungry. And two: any appetite that might have magically occurred would have instantly disappeared when seated across from Snow and James. So naturally, yes. She'd declined. Snow's insistence hadn't been tempered though and so eventually Regina had grumpily agreed on meeting for coffee at the Charming's loft.

Which is exactly where she's finding herself now. "Regina?" Of course. Regina wishes she could express her annoyance at the woman's question by spitting in that overly hopeful face of hers that _she and she alone_ had worked out a great plan to get Emma back. But alas, that's something she's not capable of doing. Instead she inhales sharply and licks her lips, feeling nauseatingly nervous about breaking the bad news. It's so unlike her which makes all of this even worse. Makes her feel worse. She picks up the cup of less than even mediocre coffee, takes a sip or two and shakes her head. "Nothing as of yet."

"What does that mean?" Snow softly croaks as she openly studies the other woman's face. Regina looks up to lock eyes with her and calculates her next words carefully. "It means…" She slowly begins, gripping the cup in her hands a little tighter. "that I'll have to continue searching." her lips form a tense line. "Oh." Snow looks and sounds deflated. In a way, Regina's rather surprised that both she and Charming had been so very confident that she'd find the perfect solution. If only she cared. And if only said confidence hadn't been entirely misplaced. Because here she sits. Biting her lip in annoyance at the situation. What an unfortunate position to be in. Here. In this house. With this woman. With this message to bring. And once this lousy cup of coffee is downed she's got the prospect of going back to searching, but not finding...Emma. Great.

"I'm not giving up." She then suddenly blurts out. Completely by accident because she immediately regrets it. "I mean..." "Thank you, Regina. I have no idea what we'd do without you." Snow tells her in a surprisingly composed tone. Regina snorts and glares dangerously into dark brown eyes. "I've done nothing, Snow." "You've been trying." she smiles compassionately. "And it's been useless." Regina nods and sneers venomously. The other woman sighs and purses her lips. The sadness in her eyes is evident but she slowly shakes her head while staring at the table. "Regina, you have no idea how important your work has been." she softly tells her. "Did you not just hear me?! I just told you it's all been useless." "And that's where you're wrong. Every dead end. Every useless trail…" "Is there a point to this?" "I'm just trying to make you realize that… yes, you might not have found the solution yet… But you've ruled out a lot of things… gained information we never would have found without you." "Useless information." "And most importantly, you haven't given up on her." The silence right there right then is so deafeningly loud and heavy. The air is too warm and too suffocating that Regina wants to get up and run outside but at the same time she's paralyzed. If only she were numb. But no, right now she feels absolutely everything. To the extent that she's not even sure what it is she's feeling or rather has no clue.

"In all of this… that's worth everything, Regina. We'll get through this. We'll get her back. As long as we don't lose hope. We won't lose her. Your belief in this and her… means everything." Thick tears roll over and down chubby, pale, lightly rosy cheeks. And those eyes. Those eyes so full of that horrid compassion. Regina's rendered 100% speechless and pinches her own fingers hard. They sit there for who knows how many seconds or minutes until Regina just can't take it anymore. "I have to go." She murmurs while getting up and longingly looking at the door. "Now? Where are you going?" Snow actually sounds a little surprised by the announcement. "My vault." Regina sighs and doesn't even know why she's answering the other woman at all. it's not like it's any of her business. A look of understanding crosses Snow's face. "Are you going to..." "What do you think?" Regina interrupts her quickly. Annoyed by her own need to do that and by the fact that she's actually still standing there, rather than exiting the building. Snow's eyes search hers. It actually feels like an intrusion. It's all too much so she averts her eyes, turns around and leaves.

The next couple of hours she spends in silence. Intense silence. Regina doesn't even notice time slipping by. She's walking through her mind. If anyone from any realm can solve this mess, it's her. She's not too self-conscious to know that. But why is she getting nowhere? She should have never gone to Snow White's little get together. If anything it's thrown her off track even more. "Her hope is misplaced, you know. She and your father have their "I'll always find you" bullshinonesense going on and it's insufferable and naïve because that's not how it works, Emma. They've had their dumb luck… and they've had you… If they hadn't had you… well they'd have never found each other, would they?" she lets out a bitter laugh at the memory of the blonde savior breaking her curse., even as said savior presses closer to the stone on the other side of the wall: listening. "I can't stand how she looks at me. It's the same way she used to… So hopeful it's sickening and it's… not realistic. The last time I gave any worth to that look in her eyes… my trust was completely betrayed and well… we all know how that turned out. And now she actually dares to regard me like that again." she shakes her head firmly, chocolate locks bouncing across her shoulders in an attempt to follow the movement. "And well yes, okay looking back… back then she was a child and one can expect from a child to… act childish. She was such a little princess." Regina spits the word in annoyance. "A sweetheart, strolling around the castle… everyone's favorite little girl. Even I fell for it." She shrugs. "But today she's not a child and still…" She sighs and shakes her head. She can't do this right now. She can't focus on Mary Margaret right now. Another few moments of long stretched silence fill the time and space around Regina until her voice, much more fragile than typical pierces it slowly. "Does this really matter? Do you think it matters? That I… that I'm still sitting here…" green eyes peer around the wall, wanting to see the former queen, the former mayor, as she speaks, nails gripping the stone tightly. She's not ready to face her just yet, Regina isn't ready either. "Because Emma, I could really use a sign. Some actual hope. Not your doe eyed mother's uncomfortable stare. Please…" She softly begs, tiredly. And then shakily holds her breath, mouth agape. She holds it as long as she can. What did she expect? Emma hadn't appeared in all the time Regina had possessed the dagger. At least, she had never seen the blonde. She swallows three times, bites her upper lip and then caves. Air fills her lungs and the possibility of hope evaporates instantly. Regina can't help but feel utterly ridiculous. Embarrassed by her how behavior, she stoically stands up, refusing to spare that stupid dagger another glance. She takes her purse and exits her vault. And there is no way she is going to acknowledge thick tears rolling down her flushed cheeks, her heaving chest and her breaking heart.

Once the vault is empty, the former savior steps into the room, still warm from Regina's presence. Her hand gently curls around the handle of the dagger and lifts it. Sad, pained green eyes tracing the letters of her own name. Is this what darkness is? Watching those you care for fall apart slowly because of you? She lets the blade fall back to the cushioned bench from which she took it before turning and retreating back to her place in the shadows, following the crestfallen brunette until she steps safely over the threshold of her home.

 **A/N: Well, my Ducklings and Regals, there we go. Our first full Emma scene. There will be more in coming chapters and she may come face to face with our queen sooner than you think. Keep reading to find out what's in store for our favorite duo. Review, favorite and follow to let us know how much you love it!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hey y'all! We're both so thrilled at how much support we've been getting for the story and we're really glad you like it so much! We'll be seeing a lot more of our Dark Swan from this point on. However, this particular chapter is completely Believer Queen based. Lots of mother-son love! Enjoy!**

"Maybe you should take some time for yourself." He's not looking at her when he tells her. Instead he's focusing on the sandwich he just made himself knowing his mom might not react too warmly to the suggestion and actually finding the way the peanut butter and jelly mix together a little -strangely- fascinating.

"You too now? Henry please..." And well, Regina does react as expected. She sighs heavily and regards him sternly, both of her hands on her hips. After taking a bite,taking twice as long to do so as he usually would -because mom's watching-, swallowing and turning his attention to the tense woman standing next to him, he shrugs his shoulders casually.

"No, but seriously mom, it kind of makes sense, no?" He's rehearsed this conversation several times and knows for a fact that she's going to ask "What? What makes sense?" Bingo. Henry clears his throat, puts his sandwich down and puts both of his -somewhat sticky hands- in the pockets of his jeans. Much like his other mother would, actually. Regina notices and ignores. "Wouldn't you be able to focus better on helping Emma if you were better rested?" He suggests in a rather small voice. Raising one of his thicker growing eyebrows at his mom.

Oh he's feeling rather brave, alright. She swallows as her jaw tightens. Someone has been feeding you nonsense. Who was it?" Regina's already mentally strangling whoever dared to approach her son and talk about what would be good for her. No one is to put a burden on her boy like that. "What? No one." He says but just a little bit too quickly for her to believe him. He does stand his ground though. Plus his voice is unwavering. "So it's your own great idea that I should stop looking for your mother?" She raises a skeptical eyebrow of her own. Being an intelligent boy he averts the question smoothly... "I didn't say you should stop looking. Just, take a break you know?" He shakes his head and smiles effortlessly as if he's simply... suggesting to have pizza. Just like that. So easy, right? Right...

"No, Henry. I don't know. Actually I really don't understand it... What happened? Emma's your hero... Your savior and now you're saying I shouldn't..." Her stance has changed now. She's got one hand planted on the countertop and the other running through her hair. Henry's supposed to be the blonde's biggest mascot, no? What happened? Why is he not completely supporting her? If someone should understand it should be him...

"Mom... We'll get Emma back..." He softly tells her in that croaking teenage boy voice of his. Causing his mom to flinch momentarily. She shakes her head fast from left to right to left. "Not if we're not looking." Her eyes plead him to be on her side in this. It's silent for a couple of moments. Pregnantly so. Henry inhales deeply and decides to voice what's really bothering him... Scaring him a little, perhaps. "I can't lose you too, mom." His shoulders raise and fall before he looks down at the tips of his shoes. "Henry... You won't" Regina's right there in front of him, holding his shoulders. Her head tilted and those big brown eyes of hers searching his in desperation. "Robin says" he tries but doesn't get to say because quite frankly... Regina's had enough of the Forest thief's interference... "Ignore whatever Robin says. He had no idea what he's talking about." She sternly tells the boy, holding back profanities about he who'd dared to talk about her to her one and only son.

"He's just concerned for you, mom" Henry smiles meekly, now actually looking at her. She curls her nose a little, then quickly straightens out her features and takes a step back before sighing. "Yes, well I don't need his concern." She delicately lets her hands even out all of the imaginary wrinkles on her outfit. "Okay." Henry slowly says, drawing out the word and then clicks his tongue. Knowing it'll annoy his mom and surely catch her attention. "Henry..." And yes, she does look up and narrows her eyes a little dangerously. But not really that dangerously. Never at him. "No nothing... I just..." He throws his hands up and shakes his head defensively, but the look on his face tells her more, yet not enough...

"What is it, dear? You know you can tell me..." Regina asks him, afraid that something might be horrible wrong. Something she's not able to fix... again. "Are Robin and you..." Henry murmurs. His cheeks flushing a deeper shade of pink. "What?" While she holds her breath. "Are you still together?" He keeps his eyes on hers. Ready to read the truth in there, in case she's not willing to share it with him verbally. He's right. She doesn't say anything. In fact she doesn't even blink. "You're not, are you?" So he asks her again. This time she does react. Looking down, rubbing the back of her neck, clearing her throat, "No...I mean, yes" saying contradicting stuff.

Henry rolls his eyes and sighs loudly... "Which one is it, yes or no?" This time it's him who softly puts his hands on his mother's shoulders. Not nessecarily holding her in place but just giving her something to hold onto... If that's what she needs. "I don't have time for distractions now, darling. I need to focus on..." She shakes her head and looks away. "Emma..." He nods and completes her thought and sentence. "Well, yes... She'd do the same for... well, anyone really... knowing your mother." She snorts and rolls her eyes but also smiles at the simple fact that Emma is just too much of a hero for her own damn good. Or well... was... before she turned dark and all. Besides, there should be a rule against turning dark after such a selfless deed, shouldn't there? Like... If you offer yourself up to the dark... for no reason but to save someone else and what they've worked so... The dark should react differently. it should... refuse to take you...

"She would." Henry pulls her from her thoughts and smiles at her. Wide and wide eyed, tearing up. But just a little since he's a man now. "I owe this to her, Henry." His brunette mother then tells him quietly. "Is that why you're doing it? Because you owe it to her?" He knows that's not the only reason and she does too. "Of course not." She shakes her head and answers him, a little annoyed that he's actually asking her that... "Then why else?" He dares her to answer. As inquisitive as his mother. Both of them. "Just... I don't know, dear." She shrugs and sighs. What is she supposed to say? Okay... there might be other reasons as to why she's so invested into helping Emma... but who's to say what exactly those reasons are? It's not like she sits around all day and pounders on why she wants Emma to come back so badly... She just knows she wants her back... That's all she knows and all she needs to know the rest is content to be figured out at a later date.

"I do." Henry decidedly tells her "You do?" She swallows a little, rather nervous for what he might actually have come up with. "Yeah. It's because you're awesome." They both smile at each other and for a moment Regina's forgotten all of her worries. Each and every one of them. Doesn't she just have the best son in the whole wide world? "Henry."

"I'm proud of you, mom" He nods.

"I..."

"I'll keep Robin distracted..." He turns away from her and returns his attention to his afternoon snack. "You don't have" Regina shakes her head. This really isn't something he should have to deal with... "...until Emma's back." He interrupts her, this time before swallowing. She doesn't scold him though, not in the least paying attention to his eating manners right now. Not while she's so very concerned that she's burdening him with problems that aren't his to have to think about.

"Sweetheart, that's not your responsibility." She tells him pointedly, but knows that he's too much like his other mother to let it go. "Then you really have to tell him." He says and that startles her at least a little. Unsure of what he means she slowly asks him... "Tell him what?" While searching his face for lies and truths. "How you really feel." He shrugs non-chalantly. Not giving quite enough away for her to draw conclusions and react appropriately to whatever it is he's implying. "Henry" She warningly says his name but for no particular reason, really. "Mom, I love you." He sighs and looks at her. When their eyes lock he offers her a little smile. Little but beautiful and enough to warm her heart as his smile always does. Especially when directed at her. "I love you too." She smiles back at him and strokes a hand through that messy hair of his. When was the last time he had a haircut, anyways?

"If you need help" He says with another mouthful. This time she does notice and winces a little. But she doesn't speak on it. Still feeling just a tad too emotional for lectures. "You'll be the first to know." She reassures him instead with an accompanying nod. "Really?" He actually hadn't expected her to say that. He's always too young and too fragile for anything, no? "Of course. Who else would I be able to trust?" Oh but yes... That does sound like the truth coming from his brunette mother's mouth. He smirks deviously and snickers slightly... "Surely not Prince Charming or Captain Hook."

Narrowed eyes and that teasing tone of his tell her he is joking but who does he actually think he is making fun of the Evil Queen? Well... Former. But semantics, right? "Do you want to be grounded, young man?" She threatens him dangerously actually making him shiver a little. "I'm out. I'm out! I was only joking mom!" He runs out of the kitchen but not before stuffing his face with the last of his sandwich. "You got your mother's sense of humor it seems." She yells after him while chuckling and taking the dish towel to clean the traces of jelly Henry's left sticking to the counter. "Funny, she always tells me the same thing." She hears him snort in amusement. And for a moment everything feels normal. For a moment, she ignores everything she knows... And just revels in the fact that she... and Emma... have an amazing child. Together.

 **A/N: I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter and our** **look inside Regina and Henry's relationship. Our Queen is coming to terms with her lack of feelings towards Mr. Hood. Don't fret though, our next chapter will bring our Queen face to face with her future. Review to let us know what you'd like to see!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Here we are, lovelies, chapter 6! We just saw Regina and Henry spend some quality time together, but I think it's time for something a little darker, don't you? Here we go...**

Rain. A soft sigh escapes red lips as the brunette peers from the doorway of her vault. Why is it always raining in Maine? She wanted those idiots to suffer, but rain didn't seem to be biased. When it rained, everyone was unhappy.

"It's just water." The voice, too close to her ear for comfort, makes her startle for the briefest moment before she turns to give the culprit a verbal lashing but her words die in her throat. The blonde watches her from the other end of the doorway, a mere 4 inches separating them. "Hello, Regina. Did you miss me?" Her voice is silky, but tinged with undeniable darkness and it sends shivers down the back of the former Queen.

"Where have you been, Emma?" She almost whispers the words despite the rain pelting against the stone roof of the mausoleum. "It's been weeks since you disappeared. We thought..."She's interrupted by that cool voice again "I know what you thought. I've been watching, observing. " Green eyes turn back to watch the rain soak the ground, a slender hand reaching just enough to catch a few drops and watch them slip through her fingers. "Why are you trying so hard, Regina? I'm finally out of the way."

"Out of the way? Emma, you were sucked up by a vortex of evil. Our son has been worried sick, I've been..." she stops then because it's too close...she's too close. "It's been hard on all of us." She turns away, brunette locks swaying as she retreats back into the privacy of her vault.

She doesn't have to hear her footsteps or feel her breath nearly on her neck to know that the once great Savior has followed her back into her sanctuary. "I'm not giving you the dagger, Emma. It's not safe." The blonde waves a hand carelessly "I have no use for the dagger. If I wanted it, I would have taken it when you left it unattended two nights ago. Or when you and your _true love_ were fighting. I've had my chances, you just haven't paid very close attention."

For a moment, there's only silence...heavy, stifling silence until Regina forces herself to speak. "You've been here? You've listened to me fight with...how much have you heard, Emma?" "Enough. I became interested when you began talking about your time as the Evil Queen, about Henry...about me. " Green meets brown and there's a mixture of emotion between them.

"Those moments were private..." "Nothing is private, Regina. You were speaking to my dagger, _to me._ Does Robin know? About these thoughts you have?" It's not mocking or even cruel...it's something softer. Understanding. "Does he know about your infertility because of...of my grandfather? My mother?" "No." The word is shaky but loud enough to be heard. "He doesn't know anything about me."

More silence. Followed by the soft ruffing of papers being moved and a quiet sigh. "You have to know this is never what I wanted for you, Emma...for anyone. I've been in that darkness. I know how powerful it can make you feel, but I also know the price it comes at and it's never an easy one to pay..." The blonde nods slowly in agreement "This was my own choice. I was never really built to save myself, just everyone else." Green meets brown once more before the pale blonde speaks again "I saved you, now save me."

The pressure and need behind the statement is felt in every fiber of her being, but a queen never admits when she's frightened. "I'm trying. " The words are heavy in the air between them as they survey each other. Regina, eyes rimmed with dark circles from lack of sleep, swallowing thickly to keep her composure. "I meant what I said...my apologies.

Emma moved slowly around the vault, fingers skimming over the walls and shelves of various trinkets. It's several minutes before she offers any kind of response. "I know. I can always tell when you're lying, since the day I met you." Something akin to a smile forms on her own vividly red lips " Do you remember, Regina? The way you looked at me that first day? You were...well, horrified doesn't begin to cover it, does it?" They both share a bitter chuckle before the brunette nods. "I thought I was going to lose everything I worked for. My son...my power...instead, I gained a friend. Several, if I'm being honest."

"Honest..." the word is quiet as the blonde smiles a little bigger "You were always good at being honest, brutally so. I remember thinking I'd never met anyone quite like you. Conniving, sneaky, brash...but you were so good to Henry. Even when he thought you were evil, you were everything he wanted." Brown eyes widen as they lift to meet emerald ones. "Really? He...Did he say that?" "He never had to, Regina. You're his mother. He wanted you to be happy."

"Happy...I forgot what that felt like until I adopted Henry. I forgot what it was like to have someone that I didn't have to hide my real self from." Emma looks at her with a slight tilt of her head,her eyes filled with understanding "It does get lonely in the shadows, doesn't it?"

Regina moves closer, just a few steps "Emma, I need you to promise me something. Whatever you do, don't give into the darkness, no matter how tempting. Evil isn't born, it's made, but it's only made if you give in to it like I did. I had nothing. I had no family left, no friends, all I had was my anger and my hatred. You...You have parents who love you. You have Henry, who wants so desperately for you to come back. You have me."

The silence that stretches between them is almost palpable, each surveying the other. Emma's voice is soft when she does speak "That's all I wanted since I set foot in Storybrooke. I'll fight, Regina, but I need you."

 **A/N: And there we have it! Our Queen and her Savior, together at last...well, sort of. Soon enough! Review and follow!**


	7. A Note From The Author

Hey guys,

So, I know I haven't updated anything in a really,really long time. My writing partner and I both embarked on new and exciting ventures that took up most of our free time.I know we both loved this story. I would really love to continue it but I'd like to see who all is still interested in this particular adventure and if anyone would be willing to pitch some fun plot twists or step in as a co-author to get this story going again.

You can reach me directly here on FF or on KiK under the username AngelofLuck.

I'm so, so SO sorry again for leaving you all hanging! Let me know your thoughts! I want all my Swen to be heard!

VIVA LA SWAN QUEEN!


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